I believe in the universality of human beings desire to feel enjoyment, gratitude and a sense of deeper meaning in their lives. I also acknowledge we do not and cannot feel good all the time. There are ups and downs, twists and turns, challenges large and small for each of us to navigate, learn from, survive and hopefully to thrive. With so many tools, strategies and resources all in the name of self help, it can become overwhelming to locate let alone put into practice tools that benefit you in guiding your life in positive directions. After much exploration, I’d like to share one of my top resources.
What will you do the feel the way you want to feel?
She challenges her readers to take ownership and agency in their lives in an effort to align their actions taken with how they most want to feel. The work of the Desire Map has many tools, resources and questions designed to prompt you to discover and refine what she calls your core desired feelings. These are the feelings that you truly desire and they include but are not limited to: abundant, clear, curious, courageous, empowered, free, focused, grateful and loved.
Pause a moment and consider how is it that you most want to feel? What do those feelings provide you? If it’s not right at the surface, take a few more moments to dig deeper into what is true for you.
Perhaps you’d like to feel more of a sense of connection to yourself, your family, communities and the natural world? Or have more clarity on your career path and the choices you make? The Desire Map includes exercises in taking inventory on the different areas of our lives including:
• Relationships & Society
• Body & Wellness
• Essence & Spirituality
• Creativity & Learning and
• Livelihood & Lifestyle
You’ll be guided to describe what is working in each of these areas, what needs are being met in addition to how you want to feel and how you can implement action steps that reinforce what you desire. You can take more responsibility over your actions and how they contribute to what you desire. You can ask yourself through specific provided exercises if you want to feel abundance, what do you need to do, experience and have in order to tap into greater abundance?
An important note on what is referred to as spiritual bypass, which implies you should rise above what you are actually feeling to get to the more positive feeling. That somehow you are expected to will away challenging emotions and live in a state of bliss constantly. Let’s say you are going through a break-up and expecting things from yourself such as, “you should be over it by now” or “you shouldn’t be feeling what you are.” Trying to will the complexity of emotions away does not work in my experience. I believe there is a natural arising of emotions we experience that range in intensity and fluctuate multiple times throughout any given day. Master yoga teacher Judith Lasater, co-author of What We Say Matters says, “feelings are flares that a need is being met or unmet.” When we can allow more space to process our emotions rather than merely reacting, this is where curiosity can enter in support of inner exploration.
The law of attraction and positive psychology have places for me, however it is not the end all. There is a saying in the ayurvedic practice (the sister science to yoga) for what and for whom- meaning it depends. I believe a healthier response is to create space in order to process the wide range of feelings. This process is not often linear but cyclical like the stages of grief describe. As humans we don’t often enjoy the experience of painful emotions and as another wise teacher, Suzanne Sterling teaches there is even more joy on the other side of experiencing our pain. If we are “shoulding” ourselves into anything it can just get heavier.
Danielle LaPorte declares it is our birthright as humans to experience, feel and embody our lives and I wholeheartedly agree! The work of the Desire Map has benefited me greatly to recognize and offer gratitude for what is working and to chart my way forward in alignment with what I desire. I use the DM’s weekly planner to outline my core desired feelings, three things to prioritize in that week, and other prompts for gratitude and what to stop doing. There are many tools at your fingertips with the DM and I’m really excited to share them with you.
In addition to being a yoga teacher, I am also a coach. I began studying effective communication and leadership in college and continued on in earning my MBA and an ICF accredited coaching certificate from Coach Training Alliance. I have completed a Desire Map coaching course and am a program Facilitator with previous experience facilitating groups.
If your interest is peaked to go deeper, won’t you join me in one or two of these upcoming offerings?
1) Desire Map Virtual Retreat- We meet virtually (from wherever you are) every Thursday from 6:30p - 7:30p PST for four weeks in 2018:
September 6 | September 13 | September 20 | September 27
Registration is now open! Read more and register here.
Each call will be recorded so you can listen live or when it best suits you, whatever you desire.
Other ways to work together, there's still space for The Ultimate Self Care Yoga Retreat in Tulum, MX Oct. 6 – 13, 2018!
This is not your average destination yoga retreat and let me share with you why: My co-leader Crystal Higgins and I are putting our steeped learning’s into the content in order to support you in feeling more rested, renewed and alive in yourself and we will equip you with exercises that incite new insights and how you can feel more of the way you want to feel as you return back to your lives. We’ll spend a week on the white sand beaches in the magical town of Tulum where all delicious meals will be included. We’ll practice vigorously (always with support to modify) in the morning and restoratively in the evenings accompanied by live music and the sounds of the ocean waves. There will be time to explore, chill and adventure. More here and questions are welcomed.
Let me know if you start noticing more of your feelings as they relate to needs and what actions you are taking (or not taking) that contribute (or not) to how you most want to feel.
In gratitude (one of my core desired feelings 😉),
“The Desire Map is basically charting the things you want in life, and not just sitting back and saying, “I’m going to manifest this…but actively doing something to manifest your dream.”
~ Shailene Woodley, Emmy nominated Actress and Activist
Please note: This post is intended to provide my opinion and current knowledge of The Desire Map Licensing Program. I am not an employee or representative of Danielle LaPorte, Inc. Team Danielle has not reviewed or approved any of the content shared. These are my words and opinion only.
The Desire Map© Danielle LaPorte 2018